Did you know a happy marriage affects more than just your family? It’s true!
A review of the research conducted by the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center found that happily married soldiers have a “leg-up.” Results showed that soldiers in happy marriages had better ratings from their supervisors and were promoted faster than single soldiers. The review also revealed married soldiers had fewer job-related problems and fewer issues with drugs and alcohol.1
So, how can you cultivate some healthy habits to keep your marriage happy and loving through the years? Here’s our suggested “Love List.”
Once a Day
- Touch and cultivate the valuable practice of tender touch on a daily basis.
- Hug for at least five seconds.
- Remember the two most important minutes of your marriage are right when you meet at the end of the day.
- Laugh because the more you laugh together, the more you love your spouse. Humor helps with coping.
Once a Week
- Do something active that lifts your spirits. This is an insurance policy against boredom.
- Broaden your sphere of interest. Make a list of activities, circle those you might find pleasurable, and then make time to do them.
- Give your mate space to enjoy certain activities that are his/hers alone.
- Boost your mate’s self-esteem. When he/she helps you reach your potential and boosts your self-confidence, your options seem limitless. Look for diamonds—dig through the rough to look for the good in each other.
- Compliment your spouse.
Once a Month
- Rid yourselves of harmful residue. Explore unfinished business (unpaid bills, how long in-laws stay for Christmas, disciplining the kids, etc.). Talk about it and do your best to make healthy decisions.
- Talk about your money. Admit to any deception and set up safeguards that will keep you honest.
- Talk about your emotional needs and issue that bring anger. Forgive when you feel hurt.
- Protect each other from over-commitment. Decide together what you and your family can handle.
- Update how well you know your spouse. Check in with him/her—What would he or she like you to know?
- Fire up passion in the bedroom. Schedule a sex date at least once a month. Guard your time fiercely.
Once a Year
- Review your top 10 highlights of the year. Decide together what constitutes a highlight. Make the review a memorable tradition.
- Chart your course for the coming year. Be proactive about where you would like to be as a couple 12 months from now. Ask God for guidance. Take time to consider what really matters most to both of you in your relationship.
- Write a mission statement and revisit it yearly. Begin with, “Our purpose is . . .” Use this statement to keep your marriage on track and consider what you would like to change.
- Think of six things you wish were different and set ways to improve them in the next year. Set specific goals. Understand the power of making resolutions together. Awaken your can-do attitude and trust God in your coming year together as a couple.
*For more practical marriage advice, check out The Great Marriage Q&A Book. It’s available in our online bookstore!
1Military Service and Marriage: A Review of Research,” Reviewed by Emily L. Hull, National Healthy Marriage Resource Center, https://www.healthymarriageinfo.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/review_mmilitarylife.pdf.
Gary Rosberg, EdD, and Barb Rosberg, BFA, are sought-after Executive Life and Marriage and Family Coaches, John C. Maxwell certified international speakers and trainers, award-winning authors, broadcasters, and well-known international marriage conference presenters. Together, the Rosbergs are co-founders of The Rosberg Group, where they provide marriage coaching, as well as one-on-one executive life coaching. Authors of over a dozen books, including 5 Love Needs of Men & Women and the Gold Medallion winning 6 Secrets to a Lasting Love, Barb brings decades of wisdom from coaching and teaching alongside Gary’s 25,000+ hours of counseling to coaching executive couples. The Rosbergs use their gifts of insight, humor, and wisdom in coaching couples “up” to become the best they can be. Their nonprofit ministry, America’s Family Coaches, has impacted marriages across the United States and globally for almost 35 years. They serve first responder and military marriages in their home state, and in particular, wounded warrior couples. Married since 1975, Gary and Barb have two married daughters and 12 grandchildren, and reside outside of Des Moines, Iowa. See more at: www.TheRosbergGroup.com
